Brian S.

I had a cat once that died of feline AIDS. I didn't even know he was gay.

Americans only eat for two reasons: because we're bored, and to spite third world countries.

I can't think of what to get you, and I hate you, so here's your Wal*Mart gift card.

There are plenty of days I don't buy gas and Iraq never falls into the ocean.

My arm smells like someone burned down a Persian night club.

Yuma is like a multiple-choice question with only wrong answers.